Monster on Hold

After spending the better part of a day waiting to talk to and then having conversations that rocketed between infuriating and perplexing with the customer service departments of three different businesses, my temper was…well, let’s just say I was frayed. I won’t say that all the people I spoke with were MONSTERS (one was even cheerful, helpful & patient), but the day was a recipe for lost tempers on both sides of the phone lines.

There was a moment when I wish I could have said — “Don’t upset the Hulk I’m about to change.” But, realistically, all I could say is, “Really? How was I supposed to know that?” “I’m going to try to stay calm, but after 40 minutes on hold, I’m worn out.” And, “Let’s start over.”

Customer Service as a circle in Dante’s Hell is just a bad joke.

A Customer Service Center employing a crew of supernatural monsters repeating scripts is a slightly better joke. Next time I’m on hold with a customer service representative instead of imagining myself transforming into a raging beast, I’m going to picture the customer service office as a hotbed of hardworking monsters. Werewolves, giants and the cousins of Dr. Frankenstein’s creation form the day shift; the night shift is full of vampires, ghosts and gargoyles; the swing shift workers are mythological beasts; the supervisors are Medusa and her sisters. What about the management team? Dragons, of course!

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

Lesson learned! (Again)



  1. I am so good at losing my temper when I am talking to them on the phone. Granted I can lose it when talking to people like this in person too. It is like the people who end up taking this jobs have a special kind of sadomasochism that helps them push the buttons of the people around them.