Now that I’m back in the land of the living—or closer to normal life in the city I call home—I’m out and about interacting with many more people. I’m noticing an uptick in mean-spirited thoughts. I’ve caught myself hoping that the guy riding his bike on the sidewalk (not Okay if you’re over the age of 12) would fall off his bike before he rolls over a dog’s paws or crashes into a pedestrian. At a museum exhibit opening party, I caught myself thinking, “did she really need to wear that?” And, when I desperately needed a coffee in a hurry, I sighed heavily behind my mask as the patron ahead of me dithered and discussed every pastry option at the Eataly coffee-to-go-counter.
Each of these times, I caught myself and did a little course correction. I don’t really want the bike rider to fall. I just want him to ride in the street, with the direction of traffic, and to pay attention to stop lights. The dress at the museum was startling and revealing, but maybe it made this stranger feel beautiful or sexy or fashionable? She was getting attention and maybe that’s exactly what she wanted? And, while we waited for our coffees, I saw how the pastry eater gobbled his selection. He was hungry and probably suffering from low blood sugar, which made him dither.
An internal monologue, narrating a walk around New York finds plenty to note, criticize, or sigh about. It’s part of the entertainment of life in a big city. Turning it around is healthy. I try not to hold on to my mean-spirited thoughts and, unless I’m plotting a mystery, they rarely venture into the truly EVIL category.
This led me to ponder how an evil character might navigate the same territory. The character might fantasize about “accidentally” pushing the bike rider directly into the path of an SUV racing to beat the light. The character might find a way to harass and publicly humiliate the size 0 dress on the plus-sized museum patron. And the person committing the horrific crime of creating an unnecessary delay in the delivery of much needed caffeine, might suffer from an unwanted shot of a poison in his cappuccino.
Is this how the villain in the story sees the world? Are people merely obstacles in their path? Many people manage to have negative thoughts without acting on fleeting schemes of revenge, violence, or mischief. It’s the choice to act that moves the needle from mean/evil thought to mean/evil action. This is interesting because I recently wrote a short story featuring an otherwise good person who may have done something evil, on an impulse, and I’m in the mulling stage of another story that challenges the definition of crime in the context of time—as actions that were once acceptable are no longer Okay; and can even be criminal.
Time to take another long walk, to wander and wonder…
I’m a big fan of old-school graphic novels like ‘Batman’. Your piece reminded me a lot of the story ‘Petty Crimes’. You can read it in the collection ‘Batman Black and White’. I think you’d enjoy it. It certainly takes your ideas and turns them up to 11.
What an interesting suggestion! I think I’ll give it a try. I grew up with the silly, old WHAM POW Batman TV show. It’s there in the back of my imagination.
Turning petty criminal thoughts to 11… fascinating concept. I’m already picturing some crazy examples.
lol – I’m glad to know you have ‘mean thoughts’. I know I do, and the appalling behaviour of many people during this pandemic often turns my thoughts to rage. But, apart from screaming at the TV, I don’t act on them. The interesting thing to me is why?
I mean, humans live together in mind boggling numbers like hive animals, yet we aren’t hardwired to co-exist peacefully the way bees or wasps are. That said, I believe empathy and social conditioning take the place of hardwiring in humans…most of the time. True psychopaths have no empathy and only pay lip service to social conditioning. The rest of humanity falls somewhere between Ted Bundy and Mother Theresa. When social conditioning breaks down those with the least empathy act out their meanest thoughts. 🙁
That may be the first time that Ted Bundy and Mother Theresa were mentioned in the same sentence!
Yes, we’re not hive animals and yet in urban environments we live at close quarters. Maybe there’s a little hard-wiring in there, but most of it is, I think, in our social conditioning and it often fails. But most of the failures are relatively minor——not murder, but anger, anxiety, hatred… Even in the realm of less that socio-pathic behavior, there’s room for some really rotten actions (and even more rotten thoughts)….
Good for murder mysteries!